Carina's Integrative Counselling logo
Carina Counselling
Carina Counselling
Home About Services Blog FAQ Contact Book a chat

What Happens in Your First Counselling Session? What to Expect

If you’ve never had counselling before, booking your first session can feel like a big step.

You might be wondering:

What will my counsellor ask me? What am I supposed to talk about? Will I have to talk about my childhood? What if I cry? What if I don’t know what to say?

If you’re feeling nervous, you’re not alone. Many people feel uncertain before their first counselling session, particularly when they don’t know what to expect.

The good news is that you don’t need to prepare everything in advance. You don’t need to know exactly what is wrong, and you don’t need to arrive with a perfectly organised story.

Your first counselling session is usually an opportunity to meet your counsellor, talk about what has brought you to counselling, understand how counselling works and decide whether you feel comfortable working together.

At Carina Counselling, I offer integrative counselling for adults and young people aged 16+ in Long Melford, near Sudbury, Suffolk, as well as online counselling across the UK.

What happens in a first counselling session?

Every counsellor has their own way of working, so your first counselling session may be slightly different depending on who you see.

However, there are some things you can generally expect.

Your first session will usually include introductions, some discussion about what has brought you to counselling, information about how counselling works and an opportunity to talk about what you would like from therapy.

The first session is also an opportunity for you to decide whether the counsellor feels like the right person for you. BACP guidance highlights the importance of feeling comfortable with your therapist and understanding how they work.

1. You’ll have time to settle in

It is completely normal to feel nervous before your first counselling session.

You may feel anxious about opening up to someone you have never met before. You might even wonder whether you have made the right decision by booking an appointment.

You don’t have to arrive feeling calm, confident or ready to talk about everything.

The beginning of the session gives you time to settle in and become familiar with the counselling space and with how I work.

If we’re meeting online, we’ll also make sure you’re comfortable with the practical side of the session.

At Carina Counselling, my aim is to provide a warm, supportive and non-judgemental space where you can talk at your own pace.

2. We’ll talk about why you’ve come to counselling

One of the first things we may explore is what has led you to seek counselling now.

Perhaps you’re experiencing anxiety, stress or low mood. Maybe you’re struggling with a relationship, going through bereavement or finding it difficult to cope with a significant change in your life.

You may be feeling stuck without knowing exactly why.

You might talk about:

Or you may not identify with any of these.

You don’t need a diagnosis to start a conversation about how you’re feeling.

You can simply explain what has been happening and how it has been affecting you.

3. Your counsellor may ask you some questions

During your first counselling session, I may ask questions to help me understand what you’re experiencing and what you would like from counselling.

For example:

These questions aren’t a test.

You don’t need to give perfect answers, and you don’t need to remember every detail.

The purpose is to begin understanding you as a whole person, rather than simply focusing on a particular symptom or problem.

4. You don’t have to tell your whole life story

One of the most common worries people have before their first counselling session is:

“Do I have to tell my counsellor everything?”

No.

You decide what you’re comfortable talking about and when.

You may eventually want to explore experiences from your childhood, relationships, past events or difficult experiences, but there is no expectation that you have to explain everything during your first session.

Counselling should be collaborative and should move at a pace that feels appropriate for you.

Sometimes the best place to start is simply with what is happening in your life right now.

5. We’ll talk about confidentiality

Confidentiality is an important part of counselling because you need to feel safe enough to speak honestly.

At the beginning of counselling, your counsellor should explain how confidentiality works and discuss its limits with you.

In most circumstances, what you talk about in counselling remains private. However, confidentiality isn’t absolute. There can be circumstances where information needs to be shared, for example because of serious concerns about someone’s safety, safeguarding responsibilities or legal requirements.

BACP recommends that counsellors explain confidentiality and its foreseeable limitations at the beginning of the therapeutic relationship.

If you’re unsure about confidentiality, ask. You should feel able to understand how your personal information will be handled before you begin.

6. We’ll talk about how counselling will work

Your first session may also include some practical information about how we’ll work together.

This can include:

These arrangements are often referred to as contracting.

The purpose isn’t to overwhelm you with rules. Clear boundaries help create a safe and consistent framework for counselling. BACP recommends that practical arrangements, fees, confidentiality, records, contact between sessions and other important boundaries are discussed and agreed with clients.

Do I have to talk about my feelings?

No.

But feelings may naturally become part of the conversation.

Some people find it easy to talk about emotions. Others have spent years keeping their feelings to themselves or simply don’t know how to describe what they’re experiencing.

You might say:

“I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

Or:

“I know something is wrong, but I can’t explain it.”

That’s okay.

You don’t need to be good at talking about your feelings before starting counselling.

Part of the counselling process can be learning to recognise, understand and put words to experiences that have previously felt confusing or difficult.

What if I cry during counselling?

You can cry.

There is no need to apologise for becoming emotional during counselling.

For some people, having a safe space to express emotions they’ve been holding in can be an important part of therapy.

And if you don’t cry, that’s completely fine too.

There is no particular emotional response you’re supposed to have in counselling.

What if I don’t know what to say?

This is one of the most common worries about starting counselling.

You might imagine sitting opposite your counsellor in silence, thinking:

“What am I supposed to say now?”

You don’t need to prepare a speech.

You can tell your counsellor that you’re nervous. You can say you don’t know where to begin. You can talk about something that happened that week.

You can even start with:

“I don’t really know why I’m here.”

Sometimes that’s enough to begin.

Your counsellor can help you explore what is happening without expecting you to arrive with a perfectly organised story.

Will my counsellor tell me what to do?

Counselling isn’t usually about your counsellor telling you what decisions to make.

Instead, counselling can give you space to explore your thoughts, feelings, behaviours and experiences so that you can develop greater understanding and consider what might be right for you.

BACP describes counselling as a process in which the therapist helps clients explore their thoughts, feelings and behaviours and develop their own ways forward.

As an integrative counsellor, I draw on different therapeutic approaches depending on your individual needs. This means the counselling is shaped around you, rather than following a one-size-fits-all approach.

How long is a counselling session?

Counselling sessions commonly last around 50 minutes.

At Carina Counselling, sessions are 50 minutes and £50.

I offer:

You can find out more about the practical arrangements before deciding whether to book.

How many counselling sessions will I need?

There isn’t one answer to this.

Some people benefit from short-term counselling, while others find that longer-term support is more appropriate.

It can depend on why you’ve come to counselling, what you’d like to explore, your circumstances and how you experience the process.

The number and frequency of sessions should be discussed between you and your counsellor rather than assuming that everyone needs the same amount of therapy.

What if I don’t feel a connection with my counsellor?

This is important.

You don’t have to continue working with a counsellor simply because you’ve had one session.

The relationship between counsellor and client matters. You need to feel sufficiently comfortable, respected and safe to explore personal things with that person.

Your first session gives you an opportunity to get a sense of how your counsellor works and whether it feels like a good fit for you.

BACP specifically notes that the first session is important for deciding whether you feel comfortable with your therapist and their way of working.

Finding the right counsellor isn’t necessarily about finding the “best” counsellor.

It’s about finding someone whose approach feels suitable for you.

What should I do before my first counselling session?

You don’t need to do lots of preparation.

It can help, however, to think about a few simple questions:

What made me look for counselling now?

Maybe something has happened recently. Maybe you’ve been struggling for a long time. Or perhaps you’ve reached a point where you don’t want to carry things on your own anymore.

What would I like help with?

You don’t need a clear goal, but it can be useful to think about what you’d like to understand, change or feel differently about.

Is there anything I’m worried about?

If you’re nervous about counselling, tell your counsellor.

Knowing what you’re worried about can itself be a useful starting point.

And remember:

You don’t need to have everything figured out before your first counselling session.

What happens after the first counselling session?

After your first session, you might feel relieved.

You might feel emotional, tired or even unsure about what you think.

All of these reactions are possible.

Counselling isn’t usually about solving everything in one conversation.

It’s about creating a safe space where, over time, you can begin to understand yourself, your experiences and your patterns more clearly.

Sometimes simply having someone listen without judgement can be the beginning of something changing.

Counselling in Sudbury, Suffolk and online across the UK

If you’re considering counselling, taking the first step can feel daunting — particularly if you’ve never had therapy before.

At Carina Counselling, I offer integrative counselling for adults and young people aged 16+ in Long Melford, near Sudbury, Suffolk, as well as online counselling across the UK.

I provide a warm, supportive and non-judgemental space where you can talk about what’s happening in your life at your own pace.

You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong.

You don’t need to have the right words.

You can simply start with where you are.

If you’d like to find out whether counselling could be right for you, I offer a free 15-minute consultation. This gives you an opportunity to ask questions, tell me a little about what’s happening and get a sense of whether working together feels right for you.

[Find out more about counselling and book a free consultation →]

Frequently Asked Questions About Your First Counselling Session

What happens in your first counselling session?

Your first counselling session is usually an opportunity to meet your counsellor, discuss what has brought you to counselling, talk about how counselling works and agree practical arrangements. You don’t need to tell your entire life story or have everything figured out.

What should I say in my first counselling session?

Start wherever feels easiest. You can talk about what has been troubling you, why you’ve decided to seek counselling or simply say that you’re nervous and don’t know where to begin. Your counsellor can help you from there.

Do I have to talk about my childhood in counselling?

No. You decide what you’re comfortable discussing and when. You can begin with what is happening in your life now and explore your past if and when it feels helpful.

Is counselling confidential?

Counselling is generally confidential, but there are limits to confidentiality. Your counsellor should explain these to you at the beginning of your work together, including circumstances where information may need to be shared because of serious safety concerns, safeguarding responsibilities or legal requirements.

What if I cry during my first counselling session?

It’s completely okay to cry. There is no need to apologise or feel embarrassed. Equally, you don’t have to cry for counselling to be helpful.

What if I don’t know what to talk about?

You don’t need to prepare anything. You can tell your counsellor that you don’t know where to begin or that you’re feeling nervous. That’s a perfectly valid place to start.

Can I have counselling online?

Yes. Online counselling can be a convenient way to access therapy from your own space. Carina Counselling offers online counselling across the UK as well as face-to-face counselling in Long Melford, near Sudbury, Suffolk.

How much does counselling cost?

At Carina Counselling, sessions are £50 for 50 minutes. A free 15-minute consultation is also available before you decide whether to begin counselling.

What if I don’t feel comfortable with my counsellor?

You don’t have to continue with a counsellor if you don’t feel that the relationship is right for you. The first session is an opportunity for both you and the counsellor to consider whether working together feels appropriate.

If you’re considering counselling, you don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable before reaching out. Sometimes the first step is simply talking to someone about what’s happening

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *